Trust and Forgiveness

I was touched and moved by the heartfelt words of two people today, both connected to me by my online network. I’ve been thinking about them the past few hours (I have been accused of being overly introspective and analytical at times), and how they exemplify what I’ve come to understand as being the foundation of community.

The first was a photograph by Alan Levine entitled David’s Chair. He also shares with us the reason why the chair is meaningful in his life. I was deeply moved by his explanation. If you haven’t read it, you should. It wasn’t just his story that I felt – it was his willingness to share a very personal part of his life.

The second moving set of words came indirectly from Dean Shareski who shared, hopefully with her blessing, the beautiful song called Here’s to You that his daughter has written as a tribute to an inspirational teacher and family friend. Like Alan’s photograph, the song is moving and brings us a glimpse of the inner life, the part of a person we don’t always see, of Dean and his immensely talented daughter Meredith.

The common element I see in both of these is trust. I feel that both Dean and Alan trust me enough that they are willing to share something of their lives they don’t share with everyone. Of course, I know that it isn’t just me to whom they are showing this trust, but an entire network of people that they have connected with online. We are part of a community to whom they belong. I’ve read many of Rick Schwier‘s papers about online communities. He’s written about the importance of trust in online communities. Without trust, there is no community. I feel like a part of Dean’s and Alan’s communities because of the trust they show in me.

Here’s a completely unrelated tangent, except that it’s another part of the elements of a community. Another person that has shaped my thinking about online community is Brent Wilson of the University of Colorado at Denver. I had the chance to be in a small guest lecture he gave to grad students at the University of Saskatchewan a few years ago. Someone asked him what he thought was the most important element of a community; his answer, after a moment of thoughtful consideration, was forgiveness. Wow – what a mindblowing idea that was to me at the time, and still is. This is the flip side of trust, I think. Being human, we all have failings and we all make mistakes. In a community we forgive these in others because we trust that they will forgive us. I’ve been thinking and writing a lot lately about community online, especially within Twitter. I have a feeling that trust and forgiveness fit in there somewhere, but right now I’m not exactly sure how. I’ll leave some deeper thinking on that until a time other than 1:30 in the morning. I’m pretty confident that my family will forgive me for being a walking zombie tomorrow.